You may have noticed that I haven’t been around for a few weeks. Well there is an explanation for that…. Grab a coffee…. This is going to be a long one.
How it all began…
I first started my blog a few years ago because I wanted to keep up with the cool kids in town – the online development team. I was in a role with about 20 young things below me who were constantly asking me to ‘translate’ what the online guys were saying, so I thought that if I could create something myself and learn about how websites work, then I’d be in.
So off I set. I started with Joomla, and it was the crappest thing I’d ever seen. At first, I thought to myself ‘oh god’ how am I ever going to be able to do this?! Then, I discovered blogspot, and then wordpress. Suddenly the world made sense.
At that stage the reason for my blog was for me to learn how to be better at my job.
The blog wasn’t even really about food to begin with. I shared stories and other stuff, but somehow it morphed into that. It wasn’t even about vegetarian food (as I’ve been going through the recipes over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been seeing myself write all these options/ suggestions that people can add bacon! Eeek!).
Gradually, my blog started to focus on healthy living and was exclusively about vegetarian food. I created a Facebook page and started actively engaging in other blogs and learning more, and developing a passion for food and healthy living. I started reading nutritional books with genuine interest (to give you a bit of background on me and reading – I literally watched the movie of Macbeth in Year 12 before my TEE exams so I didn’t have to read the book!)
I read Skinny Bitch, The China Study, The Kind Diet, Crazy, Sexy Diet and other books about how to reverse heart disease and diabetes etc (I also read books about Paleo and other various lifestyles). At one point in my blog I made the commitment to eat less dairy.
I watched documentaries like Forks Over Knives, Food Inc and Food Matters.
It wasn’t so much about learning online development anymore, it was about being part of a community and I’d developed this passion for healthy living.
At the same time my blog started changing direction, I started seeing a naturopath and Rosco and I also started to trying for a baby. I’m sure these two things have also had a lot to do with my change in attitude/ lifestyle too.
That was over a year and a half ago. As I’m sure you can guess, we don’t have a baby. We don’t even have a fertilised egg! Bummer dude.
So, what does any of this have to do with anything?
Well, we’ve been at the fertility clinic since February. We did our first IUI last month (and we’ve done a few other bits and bobs before that) but just before we started, I found myself in a bit of a funk.
I’m a freakin’ goddess of health, I’ve been doing acupuncture and everything else under the sun, but for some reason mother nature doesn’t want this to happen, and we can’t work out why. Arrggghh, so frustrating.
I’m also a Capricorn, and I don’t handle not being in control very well. This wasn’t in my bloody plan!
So then, I read a whole bunch of other books. I kept reading that an intolerance to dairy and gluten can cause infertility, and, since I wasn’t such a fan of either to begin with, I cut them both out. While I was there, sure why not, I cut out eggs too.
With the exception of the side effects from all the meds I’m on, I actually feel so fantastic, and while you’d think that doing a vegan, gluten free thing would be hard, I haven’t had a problem with it yet.
The IUI didn’t work, so I’ve gone into another one back-to-back, but at some stage the money is going to run out, and the emotional toll will be too much.
So, what about this baby making?
So, on the fertility front, I’ve made the decision that come April 2014, I’m going to reclaim my life and stop trying. I had already pulled myself out of my depression session (after about a week), but now I feel like I’m in control. Now I’m planning holidays and making other plans for next year if everything doesn’t work out.
I feel a lot happier. And I feel like this is the start of a new journey.
Watch this space.