Life After Infertility: Trying for Number 2–My Secondary Infertility Success Story

Portrait of Robyn Birkin

Today I’m sharing with you my secondary infertility success story and both the pros and cons of what trying for baby number two with infertility was like.

Trying for baby number two was such a different experience for me. 

I’d had a number of friends who were going through IVF the first time around at the same time as me, but they landed at the fertility clinic after me, and also ‘graduated’ before me… which I think impacted how we coped differently the second time around.

There were ways in which I felt like trying to for number two was easier or better, but also ways in which I felt like it was harder.

All over, I don’t believe it was better or worse… just different.

What I do feel, that I say over and over again, is that I feel like you need to deal with your emotions and mental health now, because this may not be the only hard thing you’ll ever go through–and when number two comes along, there’s a lot less time for yourself (one of the points I mention), so if you’re currently trying for number one, take this time for yourself because it’s SO important and the more space you can create, the more you’ll have to give.

Ditto though also for those of you listening who have one little person and are trying for the second–nap when they nap, seriously. Take date nights when you can–the more space you can create, the more this will help give you the energy you need to embark on this journey for number two because it can be draining.

The Cons of Trying for Number Two:

  1. You’re not able to focus on yourself like you did when trying for baby number one. Your time isn’t your own and you don’t have as much time to rest, exercise or make diet changes. You don’t get to put yourself first anymore.
  2. Often you have to bring baby number one along to your appointments at the fertility clinic, which can be very stressful. 
  3. After your retrieval or transfer, you can’t really rest like you used to.
  4. Money is tighter and you may not have the same savings saved up like you did the first time.

The Pros of Trying for Number Two:

  1. I knew that my body could do it! Once it’s happened before it makes it easier for it to happen again. 
  2. I had less time to dwell on what wasn’t working, because I put all my time and energy into my first child, Chloe. 
  3. I was prepared for battles and for things to take longer than it needed to. I was more mentally prepared the second time around.

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