I remember going to the 30th birthday of one of my friends, and we were having a great time, until (as always, right?) the conversation turned to children.

All of my friends had children by this stage…. and I was the lonely childless one.

Then, the birthday girl told us that she was desperate for a third child. She started crying, talking about all the late night conversations she’d had with her husband, who, at this point flatly refused. He was older than her (not that much older – he wasn’t a grandad y’all) and didn’t want to be an older dad… but she had a yearning for a third child and didn’t know how they’d navigate this roadblock in their marriage.

And here I was.

All I could think was ‘I’d give my right arm for just one child’.

My pain was a secret at that time and they had no idea. I wanted the absolute best for my friend and all the happiness and fulfillment in the world for her, but this triggered me.

I’d suddenly gone from having a great time to being reminded of my painful struggle month after month.

I WANTED TO BURST INTO TEARS TOO… but I couldn’t give the game away.

My chest tightened.

The world felt like it was caving in on me.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I thought that at any moment I’d begin hyperventilating.

It was like my world started crashing in on me.

Blinking like mad to swat away any impending tears I excused myself to head to the toilet to get my sh*t together.

I HAD TO KEEP MY COOL.

If only I had this gif to help me get there.

There is another, pretty famous gif image that does the rounds below, and I’ve seen others put them to their voice.

 

via GIPHY

 

But, like… they’re almost all dudes, and I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure I’d prefer to listen to a chick, and I thought I’d create one that is in our warrior style colours.

So without further adue, here is our warrior gif. Ta daaaaa

Just breathe. You’ll get through this.

Take it one breathe at a time. Focus on breathing with your belly and not your chest.

I know it sucks but you’ll get through this and you will be ok.

You are a warrior.

Focus on breathing out all the hurt, stress and worry, and breathing in strength and love.

Each time you do this you get way better at handling it.

You’ve got this.

Don’t focus on trying hard to relax, just focus on breathing.

You will be ok.

Now go out there and kick butt!

Here’s a copy of the video with my voice to it:

How to stop fertility anxiety in 2 minutes