Stop telling people with infertility to stop stressing!

Dear health expert,

I’ve just read yet another article that has told me the key to all my wellness issues is stress, and that the impact stress has on our hormones and our bodies is enormous blah blah blah.

Thanks for telling me, and every other person out there who is undergoing treatment for something, be it fertility or cancer or something else, something we already knew!

I’m pretty sure you’re just stating the f*cking obvious.

Because I thought the key to curing this ailment was to stress more. Looks like I’ve been doing all wrong all this time. [insert sarcasm and eye rolling here].

And now all I need to do is stop stressing. Who’d have thought it was so simple?

When you have something like cancer, you only begin to stress once you receive your diagnosis.

When you’re struggling to conceive, most of us begin this journey in an excited and positive state. It’s only when, month after month, you experience failure, the utter devastation of yet another negative result, that the stress builds. And then you start fertility treatments and your stress levels go through the roof.

Can we PLEASE stop talking about STOPPING stress, and start working on helping people MANAGE stress.

Hippocrates once said

“Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always”

…yet somewhere along the way, we dropped the ball on that last one.

Where is the focus on helping people manage their stress and helping people undergoing treatment survive this ordeal without becoming a total emotional mess?

I don’t want you to tell me that stress has an impact on my health, because I already know that.

I want you to tell me what I can do while I’m in this stressful situation.

Just so you know:

Every time you tell me to stop stressing, my stress levels go up just a little bit.

Every time you tell me I need to overhaul my diet, see an acupuncturist, take these supplements, have this and that test, my stress levels go up just a little bit.

Every time you keep me waiting in your waiting room, or someone in the hospital is having a bad day and accidently lets it show, my stress levels go up just a little bit.

Every time the catering department brings me the wrong meal in my hospital bed, and I feel like such an inconvenience to everyone, my stress levels go up just a little bit.

Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.

I don’t need you to tell me that stress affects my health.

I need you to show me how to manage it.


Stressed sister.

Stop telling people with infertility to stop stressing!


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