Oh, the stress of infertility. Infertility is not funny. It’s frustrating and disappointing and painful and stressful. When your doctor can’t explain why you’re not ovulating, having or absent/irregular periods or can’t get pregnant…well that’s just traumatising.

But maybe, trying to make everything right isn’t the solution. Maybe it’s part of the problem. I truly believe that our emotions play a vital role in determining our fertility. I’m not saying that physical causes are invalid (they absolutely are), but, if your doctor can’t figure out why you’re having fertility issues and you’re doing everything right, it might help to look a little deeper. Our minds and bodies are connected. Our thoughts and feelings affect us, and from a holistic fertility perspective, we need to begin healing both our bodies and our hearts!

Ask yourself; how’s your relationship? Do you enjoy your job? Where you are asking yourself to be perfect? Are you resenting your body for betraying you or letting you down? Is there any part of you that’s a little scared of how your life will change when you get pregnant? What’s causing you stress in your life?

Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Allow yourself the relief of letting go of control. It doesn’t mean you’ve let go of your dreams of being a mum. It means you’re committing to loving yourself and your life, so your future child connects with a mother that is whole and happy and vibrant and free.

So, take a deep breath and say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do, that are causing you stress (hello, third cousin’s son’s Christening!), tell your boss what you really think, have a glass of wine, go skinny dipping, eat a bowl of pasta and savour every bite.  Cut your body some slack, release the need for your parents’ approval, quit your job if you hate it and you can. Get your paints out, nest on the couch with girly TV (I’m partial a little Grey’s Anatomy) and make out with your man in the cereal aisle. Go get your hair done, push all the buttons of the elevator before you get off, rock a red lip.

Should you keep nourishing your body with amazing, nutritious foods? Definitely. Go to your acupuncture appointment? Sure. Take your supplements, visit your doctor, and keep on hoping, trying and healing. Just remember that fertility isn’t just about your hormones, ovulation, getting pregnant and growing a healthy baby. It’s about making time for fun. It’s about tending to your inner health as well, to nurture a fertile heart and body.

Managing the stress of infertility