In the Fertility Warrior Intensive, we talk about our thoughts and our brain A LOT, and we have a monthly Q+A and one of the questions that always comes up with warriors who have just started the program is will thinking negative thoughts make them true?
I feel like the movie The Secret kind of popularised the concept of visualisation and manifesting – this is me delving into the slightly woo woo side of things.
But many fertility warriors come into the program absolutely terrified because they have thoughts like
I’m scared that I’ll never become a mother.
What if I never fall pregnant?
Will I have a miscarriage?
What if there is something wrong with me that hasn’t been discovered yet?
And what makes them terrified, is that by having these thoughts and fears they’ll manifest it into reality.
We literally have an entire module dedicated to healthy ways to manage these fears and the program is centred around understanding why our brains have these thoughts, how to master and overcome them, and essentially how to call BS on our brains sometimes, but what I really want to do right now, is reassure you that, I do not believe you can just ‘think’ something into reality.
Your mind thinks.
Just the same way as your heart beats.
You literally cannot help your brain stop thinking.
Even when you’re meditating (which is a big myth about meditating – you are not a monk, and at every single second of the day, your brain is processing millions of messages and determining which teeny number of those make it into your conscious mind vs your subconscious mind. So even if you think you aren’t thinking, you are).
It’s also very natural for your brain to recognise fears and think about possible outcomes of future scenarios. If our brains were totally switched off to that, we’d have a huge problem.
If you were in the wild and your brain never told you that
Hold up – there could be snakes or bears up ahead.
Or
It may not be the wisest move to climb up a steep rock face without a harness.
Or
Yeah sure, keep going to the rocks with the huge waves.
If we totally switched off to risks and possible future scenarios – we’d have a huge problem.
So we can’t begrudge our brains for thinking that.
The problem is that sometimes they’re life or death situations and the problem is that we can end up with these dominant neural pathways that keep us stuck in fight or flight mode and stuck in either the future or the past (i.e. again, what we work through specifically in the Intensive).
But here is what they missed in The Secret or the part of manifesting that you might have heard.
Things come true because of aligned action. Not just thoughts. And taking non-fear-based action.
It’s the action that you take as a result of the thoughts that you have that determines what is manifested or not.
So please rest assured today that it’s normal to have fears and negative thoughts around your fertility journey and that nope sister, you are not ‘thinking things true’.